Dare To Run

Cathy and I began as youth ministers before we married and continued this calling into parenthood. One of our favorite song books was entitled Dare To Run, so much that we had a yard sale (or 2), made t-shirts and took our show on the road.   While the front of the t-shirt mimicked the title of the book, the back include the notion of encouragement that we should lay aside all burdens, all that entraps and hinders, and run before others the race of life.   

We need to run the race of life with patient and endurance. It's not a sprint to the finish, but more like a marathon. Along the way we need to encourage each other, for so often we may feel like giving up, but we need to keep pressing on. We need to get rid of anything that will weigh us down. No athlete wears heavy clothing and weights while running his or her race. In every aspect of life, we need to be dressed appropriately for the race and throw off the things that would hold us back and weigh us down, so that we may be able to finish the race.  We, too, are to run the appointed course that is set before us. That speaks to me of the race we are running being our race, we are not to run somebody else's race.

Remember the movie Forrest Gump? Forrest was exceptional, both mentally and physically. While wearing braces on his legs he moved painfully slow until one day a miracle occurred.  As we was walking home from school with his friend Jennie, a group of bullies road up on their bicycles and began throwing rocks at Forrest. Jeannie instructs Forrest to run. As he runs away his braces come off and he runs so fast that the boys on bikes cannot catch him.

In July of 2014, we were dared to run; so we ran; sometimes up-hill and head-on into the gale, but we ran none-the-less.  Along this path, on many occasions, we paused to encourage one another.  We tossed to the side some ineffective methods and materials.  We replaced bad habit with good.  We ignored the noise and distractions to maintain our focus.  Looking back at the course full of opportunities, we see many accomplishments, some near misses, and a few short comings.  Oh, but the  good far exceeds the bad.  

On this last Monday on the last week of school, I dare you to run, run not to, but through the finish line.

Know that per the Supe's Kitchen on Thursday, I will take time to reflect on our many achievements. I purpose that we each make a top 10 list and compare notes.  

Champions Play/Work for Others

Most career game-winning goals – 129. 
Most career overtime goals – 20. 
Only player to play in the Stanley Cup Finals as a teenager 
and at 40+ years of age. Oldest player to 
score 60 points in a season.  
He was drafted in 1990 and presently plays 
professional hockey in Florida.  

Dr. Kelvin Elko is a world-renowned sports psychologist who has worked with numerous NFL teams and Fortune 500 companies. I have had the pleasure of listening to him talk on an occasion and one story always sticks out in my mind. Dr. Elko was talking about playing and working with passion, not just for the glory or for money. In the long run, he said, having that flame or passion will allow you to succeed and be happy. He gave the example of superstar NHL player Jaromir Jagr, who wears number 68. Why 68? In 1968, the Soviet army invaded the nation of Czechoslovakia. In the chaos, Jagr’s grandfather was jailed. While imprisoned, he fell ill; he died shortly after his release. Jagr had not yet been born, but learned all about his grandfather from family members. He has since dedicated his playing days to his late grandfather and wears 68 to remind him of what he is playing for — what conviction really means.

“So what is your 68?” Dr. Elko asks. It is a fair question. Each of us has a 68 inside, that thing that stirs our passion; that keeps us committed even when we face adversity. It shapes our convictions. Perhaps your 68 is a family member or a time or place or even a burning desire to prove something to someone.

This Wednesday, I challenge the Lady Red Devils to play for their 68.  You know who they are.  Play with purpose.  Play with conviction. Play for your teammates. Play for your coaches. Play for your family.  Play for your school. Play for those who cannot.  Play for your Creator...above all else, bring Honor and Glory.

Leading by Example

Softball Side Notes:

1. Players, thank you for representing Phenix City and Central High School with class and dignity.  Your poise under pressure; your skill in the clutch; your attitude of thankfulness; and your leadership on and off the diamond is a model for both young and old alike.  Do what you do, as you have done it and good things will happen.
2. Coaches, every organization and team will display characteristics of its leadership.  Your team will talk, respond, perform, and serve as you.  SEE #1.  Kudos to you! 
3. Red Devil Nation, over the weekend, the softball team won our first Regional Softball Championship!  Please take time out to congratulate and encourage them. Best of all, if you can, take a trip to Montgomery on Wednesday and lend them your support.

It is the little things that wins championships.

Everyone has a 68.  You teach, clean, drive buses, prepare food, fix and repair, supervise, maintain a balance...  Your 68 is one of my 68’s, our students.  Never forget why we do what we do.  Give all you have for your 68!  Leave on the field of life!

The Dialects of Love

Andy Andrews, one of my favorite authors, explains love as “dialects."   Take the English language for example- when Cathy and I traveled with the boys to Washington D.C., we sounded a little different than folks from the nation’s capital.  They would politely ignore our question or comment to ask where we were from and if we could say something else.  No matter where one might go, everyone sounds a little different, even though everyone might be saying the exact same thing!  Andy contends that there are also dialects in the language of love.  We all need to learn to speak and hear the dialects of others.  It is simply a matter of knowing what dialect the other person is speaking.  Much of our dialect is developed during our formative years and is largely dependent on the manner in which we were raised.  For example, if your mom and dad showed love with lots of hugs and touches that is probably how you express love to others, and also how you feel loved from others.

In Andy’s book, The Noticer, he uses the example of the married couple Jan and Barry are a married who are contemplating divorce because neither feels loved any more.  The husband always tells his wife how much he loves her, but she just doesn’t believe him.  She says her husband never does anything for her- she’s asked him repeatedly to trim the hedge in the front yard and he won’t do it.  It’s driving her nuts.

Here’s an excerpt from the book (Jones is wanderer/philosopher/counselor/mentor who miraculously shows up a various people’s lives during a time of crisis):

“Young lady,” Jones said gently to Jan, “your husband does love you- in fact I believe he loves you very much.  But the dialect he uses to communicate it is spoken words of approval.  It is also the only dialect he understands.  And only by hearing spoken words of approval does he ever feel loved.” … “Unfortunately,” he said, “the way we feel loved is usually the same way we express love.  Therefore, your husband did everything he could- over and over again- with the spoken word, to tell you how much he loved you.  But you never understood because you have not learned the ‘dialect’ with which he has tried to communicate that love.  You see, the dialect you use is one of favors and deeds” ….”Young man”, he said to Barry, “as desperately as she can, your wife has been trying to convey her love to you by doing things for you.  She is equally desperate for you to say, ‘I love you’ by doing things for her!  And because you haven’t understood her dialect, those little favors and deeds didn’t seem important to you, and she has felt unloved.”

Remember the hedge she wanted him to trim?

Andy use the fictional character Jones to further explain the 4 dialects of love. Here they are:

Our favorite dog-  the Retriever

1. Spoken words of approval– This type of person likes to hear the words that express love. “I love you…I care about you…You are a great husband…etc.” They also express their love in the same way. They will often tell others the same phrases.  The author calls these people “Dogs” because dogs thrive on spoken praise.

Lizzy where she should
not be.

2. Physical contact– This type of person needs to be physically close to someone…holding hands, hugging, intimacy, etc. in order to feel loved. If you grew up in a “touchy-feely” home, you probably show your loved ones you love them by cuddling. You also look for this contact to feel loved.  He calls these people “Cats” because cats thrive on physical contact- always rubbing up against you, begging to be pet and cuddled (on their terms of course!).

Feed Me
Clean My Bowl

3. Favors and deeds- This type of person shows their love by doing little favors and deeds for their loved ones. They bring flowers, they cut the lawn, they fix a broken necklace…they help with laundry and dishes. They also feel loved when these things are done for them.  These people are like “Goldfish”.  You can’t touch them, they can’t hear you, they don’t care if you are in the same room or not, they have nothing to say- they just want to be fed and have their bowl kept clean.

Have a seat and listen

4. Quality time– This person wants and needs undivided attention to feel loved. This person needs to have one on one time with their loved one.  They need to connect with others without outside distractions. They like to have dates where they can get away from the kids and really focus on each other.  These people are “Canaries” because all canaries want is attention- for you to sit and listen to them sing.

There is a basic need for people to feel loved, and to love others, but everyone does it differently!  And if you don’t take the time to understand those other dialects, well that becomes a disaster, a disconnect that can ruin any relationship.

This week, work on your relationships.  Discover your dialect of love and look for the dialects of love in your spouse, your children, your colleague, and your students.  Address those needs and your relationships will be strengthened.