Dare To Run

Cathy and I began as youth ministers before we married and continued this calling into parenthood. One of our favorite song books was entitled Dare To Run, so much that we had a yard sale (or 2), made t-shirts and took our show on the road.   While the front of the t-shirt mimicked the title of the book, the back include the notion of encouragement that we should lay aside all burdens, all that entraps and hinders, and run before others the race of life.   

We need to run the race of life with patient and endurance. It's not a sprint to the finish, but more like a marathon. Along the way we need to encourage each other, for so often we may feel like giving up, but we need to keep pressing on. We need to get rid of anything that will weigh us down. No athlete wears heavy clothing and weights while running his or her race. In every aspect of life, we need to be dressed appropriately for the race and throw off the things that would hold us back and weigh us down, so that we may be able to finish the race.  We, too, are to run the appointed course that is set before us. That speaks to me of the race we are running being our race, we are not to run somebody else's race.

Remember the movie Forrest Gump? Forrest was exceptional, both mentally and physically. While wearing braces on his legs he moved painfully slow until one day a miracle occurred.  As we was walking home from school with his friend Jennie, a group of bullies road up on their bicycles and began throwing rocks at Forrest. Jeannie instructs Forrest to run. As he runs away his braces come off and he runs so fast that the boys on bikes cannot catch him.

In July of 2014, we were dared to run; so we ran; sometimes up-hill and head-on into the gale, but we ran none-the-less.  Along this path, on many occasions, we paused to encourage one another.  We tossed to the side some ineffective methods and materials.  We replaced bad habit with good.  We ignored the noise and distractions to maintain our focus.  Looking back at the course full of opportunities, we see many accomplishments, some near misses, and a few short comings.  Oh, but the  good far exceeds the bad.  

On this last Monday on the last week of school, I dare you to run, run not to, but through the finish line.

Know that per the Supe's Kitchen on Thursday, I will take time to reflect on our many achievements. I purpose that we each make a top 10 list and compare notes.  

Champions Play/Work for Others

Most career game-winning goals – 129. 
Most career overtime goals – 20. 
Only player to play in the Stanley Cup Finals as a teenager 
and at 40+ years of age. Oldest player to 
score 60 points in a season.  
He was drafted in 1990 and presently plays 
professional hockey in Florida.  

Dr. Kelvin Elko is a world-renowned sports psychologist who has worked with numerous NFL teams and Fortune 500 companies. I have had the pleasure of listening to him talk on an occasion and one story always sticks out in my mind. Dr. Elko was talking about playing and working with passion, not just for the glory or for money. In the long run, he said, having that flame or passion will allow you to succeed and be happy. He gave the example of superstar NHL player Jaromir Jagr, who wears number 68. Why 68? In 1968, the Soviet army invaded the nation of Czechoslovakia. In the chaos, Jagr’s grandfather was jailed. While imprisoned, he fell ill; he died shortly after his release. Jagr had not yet been born, but learned all about his grandfather from family members. He has since dedicated his playing days to his late grandfather and wears 68 to remind him of what he is playing for — what conviction really means.

“So what is your 68?” Dr. Elko asks. It is a fair question. Each of us has a 68 inside, that thing that stirs our passion; that keeps us committed even when we face adversity. It shapes our convictions. Perhaps your 68 is a family member or a time or place or even a burning desire to prove something to someone.

This Wednesday, I challenge the Lady Red Devils to play for their 68.  You know who they are.  Play with purpose.  Play with conviction. Play for your teammates. Play for your coaches. Play for your family.  Play for your school. Play for those who cannot.  Play for your Creator...above all else, bring Honor and Glory.

Leading by Example

Softball Side Notes:

1. Players, thank you for representing Phenix City and Central High School with class and dignity.  Your poise under pressure; your skill in the clutch; your attitude of thankfulness; and your leadership on and off the diamond is a model for both young and old alike.  Do what you do, as you have done it and good things will happen.
2. Coaches, every organization and team will display characteristics of its leadership.  Your team will talk, respond, perform, and serve as you.  SEE #1.  Kudos to you! 
3. Red Devil Nation, over the weekend, the softball team won our first Regional Softball Championship!  Please take time out to congratulate and encourage them. Best of all, if you can, take a trip to Montgomery on Wednesday and lend them your support.

It is the little things that wins championships.

Everyone has a 68.  You teach, clean, drive buses, prepare food, fix and repair, supervise, maintain a balance...  Your 68 is one of my 68’s, our students.  Never forget why we do what we do.  Give all you have for your 68!  Leave on the field of life!

The Dialects of Love

Andy Andrews, one of my favorite authors, explains love as “dialects."   Take the English language for example- when Cathy and I traveled with the boys to Washington D.C., we sounded a little different than folks from the nation’s capital.  They would politely ignore our question or comment to ask where we were from and if we could say something else.  No matter where one might go, everyone sounds a little different, even though everyone might be saying the exact same thing!  Andy contends that there are also dialects in the language of love.  We all need to learn to speak and hear the dialects of others.  It is simply a matter of knowing what dialect the other person is speaking.  Much of our dialect is developed during our formative years and is largely dependent on the manner in which we were raised.  For example, if your mom and dad showed love with lots of hugs and touches that is probably how you express love to others, and also how you feel loved from others.

In Andy’s book, The Noticer, he uses the example of the married couple Jan and Barry are a married who are contemplating divorce because neither feels loved any more.  The husband always tells his wife how much he loves her, but she just doesn’t believe him.  She says her husband never does anything for her- she’s asked him repeatedly to trim the hedge in the front yard and he won’t do it.  It’s driving her nuts.

Here’s an excerpt from the book (Jones is wanderer/philosopher/counselor/mentor who miraculously shows up a various people’s lives during a time of crisis):

“Young lady,” Jones said gently to Jan, “your husband does love you- in fact I believe he loves you very much.  But the dialect he uses to communicate it is spoken words of approval.  It is also the only dialect he understands.  And only by hearing spoken words of approval does he ever feel loved.” … “Unfortunately,” he said, “the way we feel loved is usually the same way we express love.  Therefore, your husband did everything he could- over and over again- with the spoken word, to tell you how much he loved you.  But you never understood because you have not learned the ‘dialect’ with which he has tried to communicate that love.  You see, the dialect you use is one of favors and deeds” ….”Young man”, he said to Barry, “as desperately as she can, your wife has been trying to convey her love to you by doing things for you.  She is equally desperate for you to say, ‘I love you’ by doing things for her!  And because you haven’t understood her dialect, those little favors and deeds didn’t seem important to you, and she has felt unloved.”

Remember the hedge she wanted him to trim?

Andy use the fictional character Jones to further explain the 4 dialects of love. Here they are:

Our favorite dog-  the Retriever

1. Spoken words of approval– This type of person likes to hear the words that express love. “I love you…I care about you…You are a great husband…etc.” They also express their love in the same way. They will often tell others the same phrases.  The author calls these people “Dogs” because dogs thrive on spoken praise.

Lizzy where she should
not be.

2. Physical contact– This type of person needs to be physically close to someone…holding hands, hugging, intimacy, etc. in order to feel loved. If you grew up in a “touchy-feely” home, you probably show your loved ones you love them by cuddling. You also look for this contact to feel loved.  He calls these people “Cats” because cats thrive on physical contact- always rubbing up against you, begging to be pet and cuddled (on their terms of course!).

Feed Me
Clean My Bowl

3. Favors and deeds- This type of person shows their love by doing little favors and deeds for their loved ones. They bring flowers, they cut the lawn, they fix a broken necklace…they help with laundry and dishes. They also feel loved when these things are done for them.  These people are like “Goldfish”.  You can’t touch them, they can’t hear you, they don’t care if you are in the same room or not, they have nothing to say- they just want to be fed and have their bowl kept clean.

Have a seat and listen

4. Quality time– This person wants and needs undivided attention to feel loved. This person needs to have one on one time with their loved one.  They need to connect with others without outside distractions. They like to have dates where they can get away from the kids and really focus on each other.  These people are “Canaries” because all canaries want is attention- for you to sit and listen to them sing.

There is a basic need for people to feel loved, and to love others, but everyone does it differently!  And if you don’t take the time to understand those other dialects, well that becomes a disaster, a disconnect that can ruin any relationship.

This week, work on your relationships.  Discover your dialect of love and look for the dialects of love in your spouse, your children, your colleague, and your students.  Address those needs and your relationships will be strengthened.

CAN

To view the video: under video, google CAN.

What does a farther do when his son, who has never been out of a wheelchair, says he loves to race?  He becomes his boy’s hands and feet.  That was the day the “Team Hoyt” was born.  Dick brought Rick a more sophisticated racing chair. 

Rick was born in 1962 to Dick and Judy Hoyt. As a result of oxygen deprivation to Rick’s brain at the time of his birth, Rick was diagnosed as a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy. Dick and Judy were advised to institutionalize Rick because there was no chance of him recovering, and little hope for Rick to live a “normal” life. This was just the beginning of Dick and Judy’s quest for Rick’s inclusion in community, sports, education and one day, the workplace.

Dick and Judy soon realized that though Rick couldn’t walk or speak; he was quite astute and his

eyes would follow them around the room. They fought to integrate Rick into the public school system, pushing administrators to see beyond Rick’s physical limitations. Dick and Judy would take Rick sledding and swimming, and even taught him the alphabet and basic words, like any other child. After providing concrete evidence of Rick’s intellect and ability to learn like everyone else, Dick and Judy needed to find a way to help Rick communicate for himself.

With $5,000 in 1972 and a skilled group of engineers at Tufts University, an interactive computer was built for Rick. This computer consisted of a cursor being used to highlight every letter of the alphabet. Once the letter Rick wanted was highlighted, he was able to select it by just a simple tap with his head against a head piece attached to his wheelchair. When the computer was originally first brought home, Rick surprised everyone with his first words. Instead of saying, “Hi, Mom,” or “Hi, Dad,” Rick’s first “spoken” words were: “Go, Bruins!” The Boston Bruins were in the Stanley Cup finals that season. It was clear from that moment on, that Rick loved sports and followed the game just like anyone else.

Rick graduated from Boston College in 1993 with a
degree in special education.

In 1975, at the age of 13, Rick was finally admitted into public school. After high school, Rick attended Boston University, and he graduated with a degree in Special Education in 1993. Dick retired in 1995 as a Lt. Colonel from the Air National Guard, after serving his country for 37 years.

In the spring of 1977, Rick told his father that he wanted to participate in a 5-mile benefit run for a Lacrosse player who had been paralyzed in an accident. Far from being a long-distance runner, Dick agreed to push Rick in his wheelchair and they finished all 5 miles, coming in next to last. That night, Rick told his father, “Dad, when I’m running, it feels like I’m not handicapped.”

This realization was just the beginning of what would become over 1,000 races completed, including marathons, duathlons and triathlons (6 of them being Ironman competitions). Also adding to their list of achievements, Dick and Rick biked and ran across the U.S. in 1992, completing a full 3,735 miles in 45 days.

In a triathlon, Dick will pull Rick in a boat with a bungee cord attached to a vest around his waist and to the front of the boat for the swimming stage. For the biking stage, Rick will ride a special two-seater bicycle, and then Dick will push Rick in his custom made running chair (for the running stage).

Rick was once asked, if he could give his father one thing, what would it be? Rick responded, “The thing I’d most like is for my dad to sit in the chair and I would push him for once.”

The 2009 Boston Marathon was officially Team Hoyt’s 1000th race. Rick always says if it comes down to doing one race a year he would like it to be the Boston Marathon: his favorite race.

2013 was going to be Dick and Rick's last Boston Marathon together, but they were not able to finish due to the bombings. They vowed to be back in 2014 to finish "Boston Strong" with all the other runners, which they did; stopping many times along the 26.2 distance to take photos and shake hands of the many well-wishers, and finishing with several of the runners from their Hoyt Foundation Boston Marathon team.

Vision of Victory: Process & Product

There are those who believe that all you have to do is order from the universe and it comes.  Where I come from, you have to pay for all that you order.  Since school began, you and your students have paid the price.  The effort, in spite of distraction and outside noise, has been sustained.   We have engaged the students in the learning process and have taught the standards to mastery.  What an enjoyable and fulfilling process, the process of educating young people.   And I love paying for it, and I know you do, too!  

Actor Bruce Lee

At Planet Hollywood in New York City, there is a letter hanging on the wall that actor and martial artist Bruce Lee wrote to himself. The top of the letter, which Lee wrote in 1970, has stamped on it "secret." It starts out, "By 1980 I will be the best known oriental movie star in the United States and will have secured 10 million dollars." The most interesting part of this letter, however, was the second part–the part often omitted.  Lee goes on to write, "And in return I will give the very best acting I could possibly give every single time I am in front of the camera and I will live in peace and harmony." How fascinating that Lee wrote he would have peace and harmony after he said what he would do to obtain his goal.

Olympian Michael Johnson

Similarly, Michael Johnson, the Olympic champion sprinter, had a goal to win the 200 and 400 meters sprint at the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta. The problem, however, was that the 200 and the 400 were traditionally run on the same day. This would have made it almost impossible for him to win because of recovery time. After setting this goal, Johnson remembered something his father asked him every time he set a goal when he was a young person. "What are you going to do about it? and "Now that you have a goal, how are you going to achieve it?" Johnson developed a workout regime with his coach that involved specific weight training, stretching and running intervals five days a week. In addition, he petitioned the Olympic Committee daily to move the 200 and the 400 meters to different days.  The Committee did move the events and Michael took home the gold both in the 200 and 400.

There are two kinds of goals: product and process. A product goal is what you are going to achieve, such as, "I will instruct my students so that all will demonstrate math and reading proficiency," or "I will teach to mastery all of the science standards.” A process goal is what we will do to get it, which means developing a "prescription for success." This is a plan (lesson plan, curriculum guide) that teachers follow very closely in their daily work habits and periodically evaluate themselves on. The teacher must fall in love, not with what they are trying to accomplish, but with the process of accomplishing it.  All the great ones have. Not that they always love the work, but they have regard for the process. 

Soon, we will begin a new educational process.  Know that life is all about processes.  Life has a lot of endings and should have many exciting beginnings.    Learn to love the processes.  When I was a child, we cut timber from our land to build our house.  On an occasion, I would get together with a few cousins and build a tree house of sorts in the tops of downed pines. When we were building and collecting scraps of wood we were so excited. We were running here and there to get what we could. Then we started building and the excitement kept growing while we were constructing, eagerly awaiting to see the end product. And, finally, it was done. It was not anything Donald Trump would claim, but it was as well as we could do. Then there was a letdown. Without knowing it, we were more interested in building something, and the excitement of the process, than we were the product.

The process of test prep has occurred and been sustained.  Goals have been set and plans have been made for success.  The product of our labor is forthcoming.  Today, as the camera begins to roll, according to Bruce Lee, is a day of peace and harmony.

I Said to Myself- Time is My Wealth

How do you talk to yourself? What do you say? Start thinking about what you think about and what you tell yourself.   Rid the mind of clutter, and hear yourself.

Ask yourself of a time in which you faced adversity.  (Know the best predictor of the future is the past).  How did you overcome?  Well, I said to myself, “If my mother-in-law with an open wound in her chest from cobalt treatments of the 1970’s, breast cancer, heart valve replacement and continual staph infection, can do….then I can….”  Lena Pearl Carr was a most virtuous person who never complained. She passed away April 6, 2011.

How should you talk to you if you really wanted to be great; if you really wanted to serve others; if you really want to experience the blessings of life?  Happy people talk to themselves a certain way.  They have learned, as my mother-in-law, how to enjoy life. Learn to be happy.   Miserable people are a burden to other people. Do not be a drain.

A man came home to his wife who was dragging her luggage to the car.  He ask her what was wrong and she said she had just had enough and that she was leaving.  He asked, “Is there someone else.”  She responded, “There just has to be.”

Don't be a drag.

Your time is your wealth.  How would you live your life if you had one year to live?   What would matter to you?  Would you spend a year quacking like a duck?  Would you spend the next year at the duck pond (Happy Hour at the local bar)? At the end of the day today, your bank account has 1 less day. 

A doctor tells patient he has one year to live. The patient asks the doctor, “What should I do?” The doctor says, “Give all your money to charity, move into a shack, and marry the first woman you meet with nine children.” The patient asks, "Will that save me?" The doctor responds, "No, but it will be the longest year of your life."

Given one year to live, would you spend it as you are now? Everything has a shelf life: material and non material objects alike. You have a shelf life. 

A woman is dying to cancer.  Her husband knows it.  She knows it. He gathers his courage and asks her, “I want to ask you a question: What does it feel like knowing that you are dying?”  She thinks and responds, “What does it feel like pretending that you are not?”

You may live to be 81 years of age, just like Pearl, or you may have one year to live or one day--you never know.

A week before Mother’s Day, AT&T asked Coach Bryant to do a commercial.  The script read, “This is Paul Bear Bryant, the head football coach at the University of Alabama, this weekend is Mother’s Day, call your mamma.”  The Bear says, “I got it, I do not need a script.”  Here is what he said, “This Paul Bear Bryant, head football coach at the University of Alabama, Roll Tide, Roll! This weekend is Mothers’ Day, call your mamma. I sure wish I could.”

Your time is your wealth. Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts to wisdom. Go laugh, smile, and love. Go serve. Whatever you are designed to do, go do it.  Go preach and use words only when you have to.

Things Happen

What was the worst experience of your life?  Do you recall the day?  Do remember the pain?  Will it ever lessen?  Will you ever forget?  Can good come from being hurt?    How did you get through the experience? 

Healing is a process.   Share your experiences with others.  Know the "you-felt-that-way-too" is the beginning of process. To heal your wound you must go heal someone else.

Dr. Kelvin Elko tells this story: 

One day a man fell down in a hole. As a doctor walked by, the man screamed up, "Hey, doctor! I fell in this hole. Can you help me?" The doctor wrote out a prescription and threw it down in the hole. Just then, a priest walked by. The man yelled up, "Hey Father! I fell in this hole. Can you help me?" The priest wrote out a prayer and threw it down into the hole. Then, his friend walked by. The man yelled, "Hey, Joe! I fell in this hole. Can you help me?" His friend jumped down in the hole. The man said, “Nice going, Joe. Now there are two of us here.” Joe said, "Yes, but I’ve been in this hole before. I know the way out."

Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) has had a 12-step plan for years.  AA pairs a recovering alcoholic with a sponsor to help coach demonstrate how they can overcome their addiction. The program has had incredible success. We have to know what it is like to go through something before we can really help another.

 

To be able to help others, we must talk about our experiences or "The Thing." “The Thing” ultimately affects all:  “The Cancer,” “The Divorce,” “The Addiction,” Now is the time to quit fighting up-stream like a salmon and to accept “The Thing” and to flow with it like a fish going with the stream. Ask yourself: "What did The Thing teach me?"

Ryan has lived with his disease from birth and at age 20 has begun to share with others his

Ryan Admires His Wash-Job

experiences. Ryan and a friend have created a Monday night class that is geared towards teaching others how to share their testimony.  Ryan has a story to tell and so do we.

This week, take your experiences and help someone else. Explain how they can be strong at the broken places. Go down in the holes of life for them. Show them the way to climb back out.